Songs of Life Insane and Humorous
by Shadow Irate
Summary: A bunch of songs written to describe the insane life of the Skulduggery Pleasant crew. Choose a song and pairing and i'll write it! and yes i mean it any pairing! i have made Skulduggery date Cealan so anything is possible!
1. You Belong with Me Taylor Swift

**Hello again guys. I loved you to much to stay away for too long that and some really rude reviews from other books. Anyway Shadow Irate use to be Forever Hopeful 157 is back!**

**Valkyrie to Skulduggery**

You're on the phone  
with China ‒ she's upset  
She's going off  
about a book you haven't read  
'cause she doesn't get your job like I do.  
I'm at your house ‒ it's a typical week for us.  
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like.  
She'll never know your story like I do.

But she wears short skirts  
I wear t-shirts  
She's pure beauty  
And I kick butt  
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find  
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time.

If you could see  
That I'm the one  
Who understands you  
Been here all along  
So why can't you see  
you've been flirting with me,  
You've been flirting with me?

Walking the streets  
With you and your fancy suits  
I can't help thinking  
This is how it ought to be.  
Laughing in the Bentley  
Thinking to myself  
"We're all gonna die"

And you've got an ego  
That could fill up this whole world.  
I haven't seen it in awhile  
Since she pissed you off.  
You say you're fine -  
I know you better than that.  
Hey, what you doing  
With a girl like that?

She wears high heels,  
I wear boots.  
She's pure beauty,  
And I kick butt.  
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find  
that what you're looking for has been here the whole time.

If you could see  
That I'm the one  
Who understands you  
Been here all along  
So why can't you see  
you've been flirtingg with me?  
Standing by you  
fighting beside you.  
All this time  
How could you not know, baby  
You've been flirting with me,  
You've been flirting with me?

Oh, I remember you were driving to my house  
In the middle of the night.  
I'm the one who makes you laugh  
When you know were about to die.  
I know your favorite songs,  
And you tell me about your dreams.  
Think I know where you belong,  
Think I know it's with me.

Can't you see  
That I'm the one  
Who understands you?  
Been here all along  
So why can't you see  
You've been flirting with me?  
Standing by you  
fighting by your side.  
All this time  
How could you not know, baby,  
You've been flirting with me,  
You've been flirting with me?

You've been flirting with me.

Have you ever thought just maybe  
that you're into me?

That your into me.

**Is it is just me or has anyone else noticed that Skulduggery and Valkyrie are particularly flirty in Kingdom of the Wicked? Anyway tell me what you think. If you want to see any particular pairings or songs then just PM me or Revieve.**


	2. Mine Taylor Swift

**Hey people. Please tell me how this one is ok. My life sucks. What about yours?**

**Valkyrie to Fletcher**

I was in high school working full time savin' people  
Left a small town, never looked back  
You were a flight risk with a fear of falling  
I Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts

I say can you believe it?  
As we're lying on the ground  
The moment I could see it  
Yes, yes, I can see it now

Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?  
You put your arm around me for the first time  
I made a rebel of a careless man's careful son  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Flash forward and we're saving on the world together  
And there's a drawer of your things at my place  
You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded  
You say we'll never make skulduggery's mistakes

But we got guys to punch  
We got nothing figured out  
When it was hard to take  
Yes, yes, this is what I thought about

Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?  
You put your arm around me for the first time  
I made a rebel of a careless man's careful son  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Do you remember all the city lights on the water?  
You saw me start to believe for the first time  
I made a rebel of a careless man's careful son  
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

And I remember that fight, 2:30 a.m.  
As everything was slipping right out of our hands  
You ran out crying and I followed you out into the street

Braced yourself for the goodbye  
'Cause that's all you've ever known  
Then i took you by surprise  
I said I'm cheating on you

You said I remember how we felt sitting by the water  
And every time I look at you, it's like the first time  
I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter  
She is the best thing that's ever been mine

Hold on, i hate you  
Hold on, turn your back  
I made a rebel of a careless man's careful son  
He is the most annoying thing that's ever been mine

Do you believe it?  
We're gonna break it now  
I can see it  
I can see it now

**Second one done. Please review.**


	3. Mean Taylor Swift

**Hey everyone I'm back! I haven't got any suggestions so I'll be putting random songs in. I hope these make sense. If not tell me.**

**Scapegrace to Valkyrie/Skulduggery/or anyone else who hates him so practically everyone**

You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me  
You have knocked me off my feet again got me feeling like I'm nothing  
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard, calling me out when I'm wounded  
You, pickin' on the weaker man

Well, you can take me down with just one single blow  
But you don't know what you don't know

Someday I'll be living in a big old city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Someday I'll be alive enough so you can hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your living strides and your wit and charm and your humiliation  
You, have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them  
I'll walk with my head down trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you  
I just wanna feel okay again

I'll bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold  
But the cycle ends right now 'cause you can't lead me down that road  
And you don't know what you don't know

Someday I'll be living in a big old city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Someday I'll be alive enough so you can hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar, talking over a football game  
With that same big loud opinion but nobody's listening  
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things  
Drunk and laughing on about how I don't live

But all you are is mean  
All you are is mean and a liar and pathetic and alive in life  
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday I'll be living in a big old city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean, yeah  
Someday, I'll be alive enough so you can hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

Someday, I'll be, living in a big old city  
(Why you gotta be so mean?)  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
(Why you gotta be so mean?)  
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
(Why you gotta be so mean?)  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

**I didn't really have to change much now did I? Do da do da do da do da do subscribe!**


	4. Airplanes BoB

**Hey you just got two chapters at once. You must feel loved.**

**Valkyrie and Skulduggery singing set in book 4**

[Chorus Valkyrie]  
Can we pretend that fire balls  
In the midnight sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)  
Can we pretend that fire balls  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)

[Verse 1 Skulduggery]  
Yeah  
I could use a dream or a genie or a wish  
To go back to a place much simpler than this  
Cause after all the figtin' and hurtin' and crashin'  
And all the hits and harm and the smashin'  
And all the pandemonium and all the madness  
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness  
And when you're staring at that phone in your lap  
And you hoping but the elders always call you back  
But that's just how the story unfolds  
You get another head soon after you leave  
And when your plans unravel  
And they sayin' what would you wish for  
If you had one chance  
So Valkyrie Cain sorry I'm late  
I'm on my way so don't close that gate  
If I don't make that then I'll switch my flight  
And I'll be right back at it by the end of the night

[Chorus Valkyrie Cain]  
Can we pretend that fire balls  
In the midnight sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)  
Can we pretend that fire balls  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)

[Verse 2 Skulduggery]  
Somebody take me back to the days  
Before i had a job, before I got paid  
Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank  
Yeah back when I was tryin' to get a job with the dead men  
And back when I was punchin' for the hell of it  
But now a days we punch to stay alive  
I'm guessin that if we can make some wishes outta fire balls  
Then maybe yo maybe I'll go back to the days  
Before the politics that we call the council  
And back when ain't nobody listened to my ramblings  
And back before I tried to cover up my slang  
But this is for the dead men, what's up guys  
So can I get a wish to end the politics  
And get back to the murder that started this shit  
So here I stand and then again I say  
I'm hopin' we can make some wishes outta fire balls?

[Chorus Valkyrie Cain]  
Can we pretend that fire balls  
In the midnight sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)  
Can we pretend that fire balls  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)

i could really use a wish right now  
i could really use a wish right now (wish right now)  
like shooting stars  
i can really use a wish right now (a wish right now, a wish a wish, a wish right now)

**Love it? Hate it? Tell me please.**


	5. Last Kiss Taylor Swift

**Hey guys. My friend came back from New Zealand so this is in her honour- now maybe you can give me pie. Anyway here you go.**

**Skulduggery to Serprine**

I still remember the look on your face  
started to darken at an instant  
The words that you whispered for just us to know  
You told me you hated me so why did you go away, go away

I do recall now the smell of the blood  
Fresh on the pavement, I ran to Valkyrie  
That July 9th the beat of your heart  
It jumps through your shirt, I can hear your voice

But now I'll go sit on the floor wearing my clothes  
All that I know is I don't know  
What to do now that your gone

Never thought we'd have a last battle  
Always imagined you'd end like this  
Your name, forever the name on my list

I do remember the swing of your step  
The life of the party, you're showing off again  
And I roll my eyes and then you punched me  
I'm too good for fighting but for you did

Because I hated your hands, killing my family  
I hate how you walk with your right hand pointed

How you killed me when I was in the middle of saying something  
There's not a day I don't miss that rude interruption

And I'll go, sit on the floor wearing my clothes  
All that I know is I don't know  
What to do now that your gone

Never thought we'd have a last battle  
Always imagined you'd end like this  
Your name, forever the name on my list, ohh

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you torture  
And I'll feel you forget me like I use to feel you strangle  
And I'll keep up with my old friends just to gloat about how you are  
Hope it's hell where you are

And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day  
And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed  
We can plan for a change in weather and time  
I always planned on you dying insane

So, I'll go, sit on the floor wearing my clothes  
All that I know is I don't know  
What to do now that your gone

I never thought we'd ever last battle  
Always imagined you'd end like this  
Your name, forever the name on my list  
Just like our last battle, forever the name on my list  
Forever the name on my list, just like our last

**Hey that one is quite... insane which suits because I'm insane.**


	6. Only Girl Rianah

**Now comes the part where i make an awkward couple pairing. YAY!**

**Thrasher to Scapegrace**

La, la, la, la

La, la, la, la

La, la, la, la

I want you to love me like I'm a hot guy

Keep thinkin' of me, doin' what you like

So boy, forget about the world

'Cause it's gon' be me and you tonight

I wanna make your bed for ya

Then I'ma make you swallow your pride

Want you to make me feel like I'm the only gay in the world

Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love

Like I'm the only one who knows your heart

Only gay in the world like I'm the only one that's in command

'Cause I'm the only one who understands

How to make you feel like a man

Want you to make me feel like I'm the only gay in the world

Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love

Like I'm the only one who knows your heart, only one

Want you to take me like a thief in the night

Hold me like a pillow, make me feel right

Baby, I'll tell you all my secrets that I'm keepin'

You can come inside

And when you enter, you ain't leavin'

Be my prisoner for the night

Want you to make me feel like I'm the only gay in the world

Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love

Like I'm the only one who knows your heart

Only gay in the world like I'm the only one that's in command

'Cause I'm the only one who understands

Like I'm the only one who knows your heart, only one

Take me for a ride

Oh baby, take me high

Let me make you first

Oh, make it last all night

Take me for a ride

Oh baby, take me high

Let me make you first

Make it last all night

Want you to make me feel like I'm the only gay in the world

Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love

Like I'm the only one who knows your heart

Only gay in the world like I'm the only one that's in command

'Cause I'm the only one who understands

How to make you feel like a man

Only gay in the world, gay in the world

Only gay in the world, gay in the world

**if your reading this now and your offended for any reason let me say in advance that was not meant as an insult. Thank you.**


	7. Safe and Sound Taylor Swift

**Valkyrie to Alice**

**What would Valkyrie do if magic broke out in a war against humanity?**

**She'd sing. Not really but oh well here it goes.**

I remember tears streaming down my face  
When I said, "I'll never let you go"  
When all my shadows almost killed your light  
I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"  
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes  
The sun is going down  
You'll be alright  
No one can hurt you now  
Come morning light  
You and I'll be safe and sound

Don't you dare look out your window darling  
Everything's on fire  
The war outside our door keeps raging on  
Hold on to this lullaby  
Even when I'm gone  
Gone

Just close your eyes  
The sun is going down  
You'll be alright  
No one can hurt you now  
Come morning light  
You and I'll be safe and sound

Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh  
Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh  
La La (La La)  
La La (La La)  
Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh  
Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh  
La La (La La)

Just close your eyes  
You'll be alright  
Come morning light,  
You and I'll be safe and sound...

Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh oh oh. _[x7]_


End file.
